1) Walking to a few stores the other day, I walked by a dude who was strolling down the sidewalk hollering, "I'm gonna pee in your butt, hey hey! I'm gonna pee in your butt, hey hey!"
2) On the shuttle to Target today, the girls behind me were discussing several topics, none of them concerning education. At one point, the conversation dwindled...then one of the gals busted this out:
"So one of my elementary school teachers? Used to fake heart attacks." Completely matter of fact. I was already trying not to laugh when she followed it up with:
"Yeah, he'd lay down on a table and just shake around really hard. Any spare change that fell out of his pockets he'd, you know, let us keep."
Just think, if any of those students ever encountered someone having an actual heart attack...They'd laugh madly and make off with the person's spare change.
Actually, it's quite a good excuse for robbing the incapacitated. Hmm.